The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
