are you so shy because you have an std?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
