ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
