Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
