i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
they're like a gay fantastic four
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
