never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
