i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
