yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Who died my cat blue again?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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