Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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