Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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