I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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