To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I am in a vortex of obligation.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
