used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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