Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
