New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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