Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize