I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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