i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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