I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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