There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
