Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
