How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
