That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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