Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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