Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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