I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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