Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
