I think i peed on brittanys purse
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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