somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
