I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
