Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
