if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
