Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
