A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
