Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
