No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
