Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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