I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
