Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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