if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
