i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
