I'm drive I can fine osifer
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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