you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
