evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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