All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
