"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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