Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
