i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
