He is an equal opportunity slut.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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