Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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