Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Why is your signature on my underwear?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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