i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
