I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
