He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Sober January is a disaster.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize
