week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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