So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
