Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
did you just send me my own nude
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
