too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
you never un-have a 4some
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
