i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Randomize
