I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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