I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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