I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
