am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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